The Metamorphosis vs. Marv’s Story: Show Me and then give me the Panties The Metamorphosis, Kafka’s wonderful novel about complacency, disease, and contempt for the downtrodden is an apt metaphor for society’s treatment of Marv Albert. Like Gregor Samsa, the main character of theaforementioned novel, Marv Albert woke up one morning and found out that he had been transformed into a giant insect. Of course Gregor Samsa had not done anything out of the ordinary to hasten his transformation from family provider, brotherly mentor, and conscientious worker into a giant bug; whereas, Marv Albert had bit his lover on the buttocks, wore panties, and was forced to unceremoniously admit to wearing a toupee (something that was never suspected). The only difference seems to be the final chapter. At the end of The Metamorphosis Gregor withers up and dies, wishing not to burden his family any more; and, for a period there it looked like Marv would whither up and die – or at least refrain from wearing panties – but alas, that was not to be the case*. No, Marv came back full strength, resumed his broadcasting duties, and barely suffered a barb or randy good-natured ribbing. This all goes to show that...well, I'm not sure, but you can bet it has something to do with Brigitte Nielsen's neck. In conclusion, after noticing the dizzying parallels between The Metamorphosis and Marv’s Story: Show Me and then give me the Panties, it makes one wonder what other celebrities have mirrored their lives after classic literature$. *There are reports that Marv actually managed to not bite buttocks for an amazing 7 straight hours, which in comparison puts Ripken’s iron man streak to shame. $ Not necessarily the proper forum to discuss this, but it is this author’s notion that Danny Devito’s life story has strong similarities to Pinocchio and his growing cock.